In every circle of friends there’s always that one person everyone secretly hates. Don’t have one? Then it’s probably you.

Why don’t you slip into something more comfortable…like a coma.

Practice makes perfect, But nobody’s perfect, so why practice?

Throwing random things at people then acting like it wasn`t you.

I wanna throw a party with fake alcohol and see how many people act wasted..

Finally 21, and legally able to do everything I’ve been doing since 15. ;-)

People make the world go around but at some point don’t you wish it were flat so all the idiots would keep walking and never come back?

I lost a bet and I have to come here and ask the hottest girl on a date…who do you girls think is the hottest girl in this place?

My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.

A secret is what you tell everyone not to tell anyone else.

Facebook’s next update, allowing you to check other people’s private messages.

I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me. She calls me her sixty second lover.

Two word’s guys hate DON’T and STOP, unless you put them together :)

We know that romance brings out the beast in you.

Texting with your pinky because you`re eating.