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In every circle of friends there’s always that one person everyone secretly hates. Don’t have one? Then it’s probably you.


Why don’t you slip into something more comfortable…like a coma.


Practice makes perfect, But nobody’s perfect, so why practice?


Throwing random things at people then acting like it wasn`t you.


I wanna throw a party with fake alcohol and see how many people act wasted..


Finally 21, and legally able to do everything I’ve been doing since 15. ;-)


People make the world go around but at some point don’t you wish it were flat so all the idiots would keep walking and never come back?


I lost a bet and I have to come here and ask the hottest girl on a date…who do you girls think is the hottest girl in this place?


My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.


A secret is what you tell everyone not to tell anyone else.


Facebook’s next update, allowing you to check other people’s private messages.


I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me. She calls me her sixty second lover.


Two word’s guys hate DON’T and STOP, unless you put them together :)


We know that romance brings out the beast in you.


Texting with your pinky because you`re eating.

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